3/9/22 – Nine O’clock Musings

As I attend to my blog for the first time today at 9, nine musings have come to my mind.

1.) Tomorrow is my sister’s birthday, her first without my mom. It’s hitting me as I know how horrid my first birthday without mom was. Granted she passed two weeks before my birthday, but still my heart is hurting for my sister and what she might face tomorrow.

2.) I just finished wrapping up work at 9pm. I literally just scarfed down dinner and yet the bed is still covered with grad homework and bills to attend to. I’m quite amused at how fast this night went and how much I still want to accomplish before I rest my head.

3.) What surprised me today…. I was walking by my boss in the hallway, he looks at me with disgust, says nothing, and walks on by. I don’t know about you, but as an extremely sensitive soul, that really hurt. Mind you in my two years I can count on both hands how many times I have even heard a good morning. Today I was surprised and reminded again at how not everyone will like you – and that is going to have to be ok.

4.) What touched my heart today…. Two chats with two good friends and a student who runs up to me at recess (out of the recess line even) to give me a hug and tell me about all that was in his lunch. See above, at least someone likes me! 😉

5.) What inspired me today…. Knowing that what is coming is so much better than what is gone and leaving, (minus mom and ponch of course as my heart still bleeds for them every day.) Nevertheless, I feel it so deep within my soul that this next chapter of my life is going to bring so much joy and success. I am inspired to keep trying, even though every time I get up it feels like I am being clubbed over the head and knocked down again. (Think of the whack-a-mole game) if you will.

6.) The bills are still sitting here, the bed is still covered, and man all I really want is a shower, ice cream, and to finish Survivor – it’s back!

7.) This week is flying. I missed tutoring tonight but it was a blessing in disguise. I got to spend time taking care of my future and learning about what was going on in the world of my two closest friends.

8.) I had an observation today and as they all do, I was nervous, sick to my stomach, and sweating – a lot. When it was over I was so relieved and also quite surprised that the review wasn’t so bad! I honestly feel as if this was my first honest and real observation that I’ve ever had (well since my undergrad of course.) I am lucky to have met some pretty incredible people, maybe they like me too, I hope.

9.) What will tomorrow bring? My nerves are getting the best of me, but if I want that future I see over the horizon, I have to put on my big girl pants and do my best. Who knew that the day where I finally began to realize how awesome I am wouldn’t occur until I’d been on this earth for 40 years. It’s 9:30, now where is that shower and ice cream……

2 thoughts on “3/9/22 – Nine O’clock Musings

  1. I’m glad you had your friends and a student show you how loved you are and how string you were to ignore the hurtful look by your principal. “Knowing that what is coming is so much better than what is gone and leaving” – so insightful!

    Liked by 1 person

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